Giants
I haven't worked on Giants at all in terms of putting paint on the board but U have redesigned it because of advice Meg gave to me in one of out meetings. I have only had one meeting with Meg (I know it’s bad), and during that one meeting we looked at my paintings and tried to find what needed to be changed. Meg took one look at Giants and said, “Well, the perspective isn’t right”. As usual she was right and we had a mini lesson on what the proper perspective would be. I sketched the right perspective for the painting then made another sketch but with color and technically it looks right. But, something was wrong. The original painting had a certain feel to it, it felt empty and vast, open, it did not feel intimidating. The new design felt intimidating, the angle of the yucca plant, the giant taking up most of the sky, it wasn't what I was trying to convey. That got me thinking, what am I trying to convey. After doing some digging I found I was trying yet again to convey my relationship with the desert though this painting. What is my relationship to the desert?
“It is a place where I feel insignificant and important; place where all of my shortcomings are under a spotlight; where I see what I want to be and how I am not that; though I know that self image is flawed, preferring appearances, competition in intelligence. Trying extremely hard to stand out in a crowd and failing miserably. It is a place of familiarity, my family’s culture. Where I am welcomed and rejected, where I am judged and accepted. Capitalism, hope, despair. Self Centered and comunal...A love-hate relationship.”
Up until this point I didn't question what I saw, I just painted whatever came to me. I wanted to show other people what I saw but I never dug deeper to see what my subconscious was trying to communicate with me. Now I am trying to find the message and incorporate what I know about the meaning of the painting into the painting itself.
“It is a place where I feel insignificant and important; place where all of my shortcomings are under a spotlight; where I see what I want to be and how I am not that; though I know that self image is flawed, preferring appearances, competition in intelligence. Trying extremely hard to stand out in a crowd and failing miserably. It is a place of familiarity, my family’s culture. Where I am welcomed and rejected, where I am judged and accepted. Capitalism, hope, despair. Self Centered and comunal...A love-hate relationship.”
Up until this point I didn't question what I saw, I just painted whatever came to me. I wanted to show other people what I saw but I never dug deeper to see what my subconscious was trying to communicate with me. Now I am trying to find the message and incorporate what I know about the meaning of the painting into the painting itself.