Shao Shan Temple
I have gone to the Shao Shan temple twice this quarter, the first time I went there was a sitting meditation for 40 minutes then a reading group discussion, where we talked about lineage of all the buddhas and Bodhi Dharma .
The second time I went was to meet with our Buddhist mentor Taihaku, for the first time we had a 10 minute sitting meditation and talked about logistics for this years meetings and different ways to comfortably do sitting meditation. |
10 minute meditation and Reflection
This quarter I have tried to meditate for ten minutes every day, which hasn't worked at all because It is still hard for my to not think for ten minutes. But in our meeting with taihaku our homework is to make a pledge to ourselves to meditate every day for 10 minutes, then she will take the paper we write our pledge on and put it under the buddha in the Shao Shan Temple.
Experimental meditation
in my experimental meditation I try to live in this world and expand my awareness through experiencing the world through all of my senses then I write reflections:
RAINING IN OCTOBER
I don't remember what I was doing before but I knew that when I heard the rain I needed to go outside. I love the rain, it comforts me the repetitive noise is loud enough to silence my thoughts. I stand on the edge, on the fault line where the water from the roof falls in bigger drops than the space beyond. The water runs down my face, off of my shoulders and down my arms, the rain from the sky beyond the line where the water falls from the roof, hits my other shoulder. I submerse myself into the rain from the sky, the rain is dense and falls with force leaving a stinging sensation on my face and arms. My feet feel the mud as I step off of the concrete the light my the porch is still on making an imbalance in the space. The light makes the forest seem like it’s under a microscope or up against a wall.
I keep walking
Shadows of the cars spread across the reflective driveway.
It’s dark
It’s dark
It’s dark
Dark...
why am I scared of the dark?
The sky is dark
The trees are dark
The shadows are dark
The rain is louder
Louder
Why am I scared?
There is something wrong
There is something there
Maybe nothing
No something
I’m going inside and the world is watching me.
WE ARE IN THE SAME WORLD
I sat on the concrete slab outside of the front door of my house cross legged, straight back and right hand over my left and thumbs connecting. Sofie my dog is outside with me and nudges me to pet her, I look down at her and kiss her face and give her a hug. The area around my driveway is large and open, at the edge of the open space there are tall trees, I can't tell what type because it is 10:30 at night, a cold wind blows around the treetops I hear the the leaves rustling as the air moves around them. Vision distorts reality, it makes proportions all messy, what if I just try to experience the world through hearing and touch. I went back inside to pour a cup of tea, Peppermint & Lemon...hot. Should I wear sandals, I don't to get my feet dirty, but by touching the earth I might feel more connected to it, no shoes it is.
Back on the concrete slab, the wind is far off, far off as in not my immediate proximity, off of the slab there is a 5 in. drop to the grass, my bare feet on the cold concrete curled, I don't want to step onto the earth, the first step in everything is the hardest. The ground is rocky and cold, I need to get to a flat surface so I don't fall over while I have my eyes closed, the driveway is a hard smooth layer of packed down mud and on top is dry fine sand. My feet feel the sand and I take a deep breath and close my eyes. The sound of the wind rippling through the trees seems farther away and up that my eyes tell me, as I take many more slow steps I arrived 30 ft from the edge of the forest but still on the driveway. Darkness is the only thing that I can see beyond the first couple of trees, the trees now that I look at them after walking are tall taller than I could have thought before. I feel present, like the trees are in the same world I am, or I am in the same world that they are. I do not feel disconnected from the earth, by immersing myself with every sense I feel as though I am a part of this whole.
APPRECIATING WARMTH
I don't remember why but I wanted to take a bath, the warm water filled the tub slowly, it relaxed my skin and made me sleepy. I like feeling awake, so I drained the tub and filled it up with cold water. The cold water sunk to the bottom as the surface stayed warm, as my hands moved and as I breath my hair stands on end and shoots skin stimulation across the parts of the body that aren't on the water. The lights in the bathroom are off and the candles cascade warm yellow light across my skin.
Warm
Warm
warm is what I want to me now that I am cold, I want to be warm, I want water that reminds me of the sun, that reminds me of the desert and my home, cold makes me aware and on edge but it is good,
It is good,
It is good,
It is good to be aware of the world but the warmth, the warmth is comforting and I want it when I am not warm,
warmth is good.
THE SKY
It was the drive home after the class
the air wasn't too cold and I wanted to feel it so I opened the window
I wanted to see the world outside of the truck I was in so I stuck my head out the window
because it was dark I couldn't see the trees flying past my face it just looked like a wall of darkness
the sky was dark and light blue at the same time, it was hard to tell because the colors blended with eachother
as we wend around turns the sky moved, I mean it didn't move I moved
now on the dirt road the tree branches were getting closer to the car and I was running the risk of getting hit
Why do people take risks?
Have I taken a risk?
What is a risk?
Do people only take risks to experience a feeling?
THE SPIDER
I was at the coop before my class getting food and I saw a spider,
it was small
I thought about how it breathes and I saw its body pulsate
the structure of it's legs were extremely complex as with any living thing
but they were a light brown color almost transparent
the legs were strong compared to something smaller
but weak to things larger than it,
how do you establish a standard for strength?
how do you establish a standard for anything?
It confuses be when people just accept something as strong or weak or anything
because everything depends on perspective
What does the spiders perspective look like?
as I thought this I looked in the opposite direction of the spider and imagined myself a thousand times larger than how I am
I'm tiny
but huge
RAINING IN OCTOBER
I don't remember what I was doing before but I knew that when I heard the rain I needed to go outside. I love the rain, it comforts me the repetitive noise is loud enough to silence my thoughts. I stand on the edge, on the fault line where the water from the roof falls in bigger drops than the space beyond. The water runs down my face, off of my shoulders and down my arms, the rain from the sky beyond the line where the water falls from the roof, hits my other shoulder. I submerse myself into the rain from the sky, the rain is dense and falls with force leaving a stinging sensation on my face and arms. My feet feel the mud as I step off of the concrete the light my the porch is still on making an imbalance in the space. The light makes the forest seem like it’s under a microscope or up against a wall.
I keep walking
Shadows of the cars spread across the reflective driveway.
It’s dark
It’s dark
It’s dark
Dark...
why am I scared of the dark?
The sky is dark
The trees are dark
The shadows are dark
The rain is louder
Louder
Why am I scared?
There is something wrong
There is something there
Maybe nothing
No something
I’m going inside and the world is watching me.
WE ARE IN THE SAME WORLD
I sat on the concrete slab outside of the front door of my house cross legged, straight back and right hand over my left and thumbs connecting. Sofie my dog is outside with me and nudges me to pet her, I look down at her and kiss her face and give her a hug. The area around my driveway is large and open, at the edge of the open space there are tall trees, I can't tell what type because it is 10:30 at night, a cold wind blows around the treetops I hear the the leaves rustling as the air moves around them. Vision distorts reality, it makes proportions all messy, what if I just try to experience the world through hearing and touch. I went back inside to pour a cup of tea, Peppermint & Lemon...hot. Should I wear sandals, I don't to get my feet dirty, but by touching the earth I might feel more connected to it, no shoes it is.
Back on the concrete slab, the wind is far off, far off as in not my immediate proximity, off of the slab there is a 5 in. drop to the grass, my bare feet on the cold concrete curled, I don't want to step onto the earth, the first step in everything is the hardest. The ground is rocky and cold, I need to get to a flat surface so I don't fall over while I have my eyes closed, the driveway is a hard smooth layer of packed down mud and on top is dry fine sand. My feet feel the sand and I take a deep breath and close my eyes. The sound of the wind rippling through the trees seems farther away and up that my eyes tell me, as I take many more slow steps I arrived 30 ft from the edge of the forest but still on the driveway. Darkness is the only thing that I can see beyond the first couple of trees, the trees now that I look at them after walking are tall taller than I could have thought before. I feel present, like the trees are in the same world I am, or I am in the same world that they are. I do not feel disconnected from the earth, by immersing myself with every sense I feel as though I am a part of this whole.
APPRECIATING WARMTH
I don't remember why but I wanted to take a bath, the warm water filled the tub slowly, it relaxed my skin and made me sleepy. I like feeling awake, so I drained the tub and filled it up with cold water. The cold water sunk to the bottom as the surface stayed warm, as my hands moved and as I breath my hair stands on end and shoots skin stimulation across the parts of the body that aren't on the water. The lights in the bathroom are off and the candles cascade warm yellow light across my skin.
Warm
Warm
warm is what I want to me now that I am cold, I want to be warm, I want water that reminds me of the sun, that reminds me of the desert and my home, cold makes me aware and on edge but it is good,
It is good,
It is good,
It is good to be aware of the world but the warmth, the warmth is comforting and I want it when I am not warm,
warmth is good.
THE SKY
It was the drive home after the class
the air wasn't too cold and I wanted to feel it so I opened the window
I wanted to see the world outside of the truck I was in so I stuck my head out the window
because it was dark I couldn't see the trees flying past my face it just looked like a wall of darkness
the sky was dark and light blue at the same time, it was hard to tell because the colors blended with eachother
as we wend around turns the sky moved, I mean it didn't move I moved
now on the dirt road the tree branches were getting closer to the car and I was running the risk of getting hit
Why do people take risks?
Have I taken a risk?
What is a risk?
Do people only take risks to experience a feeling?
THE SPIDER
I was at the coop before my class getting food and I saw a spider,
it was small
I thought about how it breathes and I saw its body pulsate
the structure of it's legs were extremely complex as with any living thing
but they were a light brown color almost transparent
the legs were strong compared to something smaller
but weak to things larger than it,
how do you establish a standard for strength?
how do you establish a standard for anything?
It confuses be when people just accept something as strong or weak or anything
because everything depends on perspective
What does the spiders perspective look like?
as I thought this I looked in the opposite direction of the spider and imagined myself a thousand times larger than how I am
I'm tiny
but huge